Friday, April 28, 2006
Busy,Busy,Busy!
As I'm typing this I'm in computer class since I'm done everything. Anyways Tao, it only gets better here on in! My weekends are getting booked up for events faster than I can say "Guys, quick opinon". School is almost done 46 today and counting. Summer is close. I only wish it was closers :). The fire in my belly to socilize is really reaching its height to where I can say go do, drop dieing, then get up again (wash, rinse, repeat).Being caught up in all the excitement I caught this newsletter by TD which I found inspirational and just makes me want to go socilize more. Enjoy.
"Dude, you're losing your hair.."
"What are you talking about?"
"Look at your crown. You're going bald."
"Yeah, whatever.."
"No, come look in the mirror.."
"Uh oh..."
"Why me? Why can't some other guy get this? Don't I have enough
problems as it is? Why did God pick me to get this?
Couldn't he have picked one of the cool kids? Couldn't he have
picked a guy with a better looking face for it? Couldn't he have
picked a guy who was already married to get this?
If I can just get married before this happens, I won't have to
worry about it. I've got time...... for now."
So off we go. To the old pictures. To the daily mirror checkup.
To the plethora of internet websites brilliantly designed to
play off of insecurities.
I'm looking at every guy around me. How bald is that guy? Is he
bald?
OK, enough of my old thought patterns.
All of this fantastic stuff I learned a few years back, as a
chump with no girlfriend and no ability to get a shred of
attention from a girl if my life depended on it.
My logic at 21 years of age: If I can't get a girl now, how
will I get one when I'm a bald and old; and less good looking
than I am now?
My model of the world at 21 years of age: I like good looking
girls, so girls will only like me if they think I'm good
looking. Right?
Wow. I was so off track.
All of this I know - now. But this whole thing really messed me
up for a while. Probably about two years. I mean, it *really*
messed me up. I was so screwed up over it, I look back on it and
I feel almost as if I'm exaggerating because I can't even relate
to what that would feel like anymore.
But there was a good side. First, it made me realize that I was
going to die. Soon. Not soon, as in SOON. But soon as in the
fact that time flies and your life passes you by before you
know it.
I've been doing workshops almost every weekend for four years
now. It was supposed to be a field trip that Papa and I were
going to take together. I haven't lived in a stable house in
four years.
I've been traveling. *Four years* have blown by. It feels like
five minutes. My life will be like that. Every key stroke
entered into this post is another second that I'm not getting
back no matter how clever I think I am to "outstrip" it - as
Heidegger would say, for my fellow geeks.
Lack of self-confidence, combined with losing my girlfriend,
were two of the biggest change-driving incidents that happened
in my life. They happened around the same time. It changed my
thinking pattern 180 degrees.
I felt like I had only a few years to do the things I wanted to
do. I started getting things done.... double time.
I resisted losing my girlfriend. I remember how I begged for her
to come back. I didn't particularly like her either.
She was cute, and we lived together. I mean, imagine that -
a girl liked me enough to come live with me! After nineteen
years of nothing, and all of a sudden a cute one wanted to
come and live with me! How could I not love her?
When she dumped me, my frame just fell apart. I was just a
total mess. I begged for her to come back. I knew she was
hooking up with the guy from the Pita Pit.
The PITA PIT!!
But I chose to ignore it. I didn't care, I just wanted her back.
I just wanted the feelings to go away.
I sat in bed for a few months, sleeping 18 hours a day, and
then 2, and then 18. If I could go back to sleep, I could feel
better. I played a lot of Street Fighter II. Watched TV. Failed
my second year of classes and pissed away my chances at grad
school.
Damn, I would have kicked butt. Woops.
My old girlfriend is a cute little married porker now. Do you
know what a girl who is 5'1 looks like when she adds on 40
pounds? Go see my ex. And she's depressed and low-self-esteem.
But I didn't know it at the time. I was low-self-esteem myself
- how could I have known that of someone else?
My friends from Canada sit back at home in their bored depressed
ruts. They'll probably never grow nor ever leave. The whole
world is out there, and they'll probably never see or learn
about it, nor probably ever see or learn about themselves.
Of course with lower standards comes easy gratification. Who am
I to judge?
Wow though, I've seen some cool stuff since all of this
started. I've been all over. I remember skiing down a hill in
Whistler BC, and thinking about how lucky I am. I want to see
more, too. I want to see everything I can. I want to see even
the weird places like the Arctic and Africa.
This stuff is so cool. Have you guys ever been to Vegas?
It seems like no big deal, but have you ever stopped to think
of how COOL Vegas is?? And there are so many places like that.
It's pretty cheap too. Like you can get on a plane for two or
three hundred and stay in a crappy hostel if you have to.
But if you don't get off your ass, it's too inconvenient. Screw
that though - Do it!!
None of this was on my mind a few years ago though. It was
outside of my reality. My reality lied upon the 401HW strip
from Ontario to Quebec. Toronto, Kingston, Ottawa, Montreal.
And my relationship reality lied within the context established
in my high school and peer group.
I look at the girls that I meet now, and these are the girls
that wouldn't have given me the time of day a few years ago. I
don't think of it like that though. I just think of them as
kind of cute and dorky. I don't really view them as hot, but
more on a deeper level.
Like I feel their insecurities and shortcomings and I know
where I'm at in relation after all the work I've put in. I own
the frame on them like its nothing. It doesn't even take a
second thought.
Sometimes though I'll be with a girl I'm dating, like out
shopping or something, and I'll snap back into old thinking
patterns. Like "Wow, this girl could be with any guy but
me."
I snap out quick, because that thought path leads to nowhere.
It's all nonsense too. I'm a natural now. I can forget
sometimes though. Only for a second. But it reminds me that I
have a past that actually existed.
I talk about it and I feel like I'm lying. Like, I'm
running a routine or something. But it actually happened.
Did I really feel like that?! Should I even be admitting it? It
is representative of who I am? Was that me? It can't be.
Can it?
Sometimes I forget about what it took to get to where I'm at.
Like, I can totally relate to all those naturals who say "Dude,
this isn't that hard. Just be cool. Enough with all these
silly analyses. Just be cool."
That's why I post immediately even the most subtle detail.
Within a day, I'll have internalized it and will have lost my
ability to articulate it. Or I'll think it is too subtle to post
and just dumb.
I feel embarrassed of my past work, even though I know it's good.
Guys tell me they like it, and I'm like, "Wow, dude, you read
that?! That thing is way too dense. Just be cool and escalate."
But really, without all those piled up posts, the game wouldn't
exist. And that's an indication of progress, which is a good
thing.
It was a solid effort over several years. I always had goals
and was working at them. I think a lot of guys misrepresent how
hard it is to go from chump to champ. If I'd known what I would
have to go through just to get my first lay, I'd have never
even started.
The same with my business. But I always thought that success
was just around the corner. I was convinced. More importantly,
I enjoyed the process of it. I immersed myself in it.
Every month that went by, if someone hadn't seen me, they'd say
"Wow man, you've really changed. Your voice is different. Your
vibe is different." Girls say it to me. It's tangible.
Like a guy who makes diet changes and exercises, and the
progress is slow but if someone doesn't see him for a few months
it's almost freaky.
Wherever I went, I was looking at guys. Constantly. Looking at
people around me. Playing the game. Asking for feedback.
Meeting people. Looking at where I was getting bad feedback.
Watching naturals in the clubs. Meeting guys in the community.
Looking at myself in a detached manner. Ouch, it hurt sometimes.
A lot, really. I'd make progress and feel good about myself,
and then realize that I still sucked. I couldn't totally figure
out why, but it came to me over time.
I feel like I still suck compared to what I could do with more
time. Others not a good bar for what's possible. I set my own
bar for what's possible.
I was consistent. How many guys can claim that?
In my opinion, very few. The reason I say that is that most
people I meet are able to get to a high level far faster than I
was. If people would put in the same effort that I'd put in, I
think they'd get better than me in less time.
I'm not a fast learner. I have a few areas of exceptional
aptitude, but overall I lack in cognitive capacity compared to
my peers. Every area that I'm good at are things that I sucked
at, but put in ten times the effort of everyone else to get a
result.
I've had to come to terms with that over time. Rather than
letting it piss me off though, I use it as motivation.
Like with pickup, I played two years before I got a result. Two
years to get laid a single time. Two years of walking up to
girls with my throat tensed up and my voice cracking dry and my
heart pounding and my forehead visibly sweating.
Guys wonder why I kept playing so hard after I got good? It was
momentum. I was going so hard that I don't think I could have
stopped even if I wanted to. Two years to get laid. WOW.
When it happened I couldn't believe it. I had a bunch of near
misses for a few months prior to it. I knew that it was coming,
but didn't totally believe it. When it happened I was in shock.
I remember getting the girl's clothes off, and I was like
"Oh man, I'm close.. Even if I don't get it, I'm going to get it
soon.." I nailed it. She even stayed over night and we hooked
up in the morning.
I turned the girl off within about three weeks by going back to
old behavior patterns. But for that period of time I had a
girlfriend again. She was just as cute as my first girlfriend
too.
This was all played out in the real world. The internet isn't a
place to learn pickup. I learned pickup on my own. I had
guidance. I couldn't have done it without having met the best.
But streamlining and re-wiring all of my thought and behavior
patterns was complicated. That is how you get girls, by the way.
It isn't through anything other than that.
Cool guys get girls. If you're not a cool guy, you probably
won't get sex very much. It's not by being alpha or being
sexual or having rapport or anything else. Those are just
things that you add into the mix to do even better.
Like, every weekend I meet guys who are nerds but trying to use
this stuff, and it just makes them come off even weirder.
I could make a tape of guys from the community trying to implement
the tech they learn - even the most simple stuff like "alpha
body language" or "sexual state", and sell it as a prime time
comedy special.
If you're not cool, then that's the problem. Cool just means
congruent in your actions and all that. There's no universal of
cool. It can come in a million forms. Even nerdy can be cool,
if it comes from the right place.
And this is all learned in field. Because through the dumb
"comedy special" worthy moments where you're trying out tech
that you don't understand, you're progressing. Even if you drop
it down the line, its changing your awareness of communication
channels.
It's changing your thought patterns. It's changing YOU.
You can only learn to understand it through trial and error.
That's what I did.
My friends, Nick and Barry, went around an entire club
of 5,000 people and high-fived everyone in it several times,
just to see what would happen.
Barry got a girl to get intimate with him for first time out of
this! Can you actually believe this stuff??
I used to tell girls to close their eyes, and I'd kiss them. I
had a girl at a juice counter shriek and freak out. I thought
she'd call the police, but she was totally into it after she
calmed down. It amped her buying temperature somehow.
Unbelievable!
All of this comes from the field.
Real life.
The internet is a place where you can read stuff that will make
sense of PAST EXPERIENCES that you've had. It can even give you
a few idea of how to get out there - magic penny style.
But mostly, it's just something that gives you a resource where
you can look back at what you did and make more sense of it.
In my opinion, the difficulty for most guys is that they don't
really want it. They don't REALLY want it. They want it if it's
easy, but they don't really want it. If they did, they'd go and
get it.
I really wanted it. I was driven to go and get it.
Most guys aren't.
Most guys reading this post look on it as though they are watching
a movie or reading a fictional novel. They don't really want it.
They just want to feel good about themselves.
They want the emotion more than the outcome. That's cool too
though. In my opinion, anyway.
So all of this stuff, that's me. That's my personality - who I
was and who I am now. How bad do you really want it though?
What's going to drive you to do it?
The stuff that I spoke of - those were my points of change.
What are yours?
- Tyler"
Posted @ 11:30 AM | PermaLink | 1 comments |
Thursday, April 13, 2006
What up
Wow, call me kicks... I am right now :). Be a socially savvy guy. Its been said in almost every method out there- if someone prove me wrong post in comments. To break out of your comfort zone and say this to everyone you meet is cool. Be the gentlemen open doors and bust on people who don't respond savvly. Example, I opened the door for a lady in school she didn't say thank you so I went your welcome when she went through.. I got a backturn and a convo striked up. Its all being comfortable in your own skin. I've also noticed that a excited opener as HEY WHATSUP is ok, but a better laidback one as Hey, Whatsup is much better. Till then bros, take it easy.
Posted @ 11:18 PM | PermaLink | 0 comments |
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Snapped?!
>:) Wow, last night and today were awesome, but I felt something has snapped in me. For reassurance for you guys it was a good snap not bad :). I hear contiously from guys in posts or in person you get so fed up some days with your life. You just snap, and want to socailize...Well I feel that tonight due to logistics though I can't no ride -.-. Tao.. I hope this feeling stays in my mind when I go out everytime now being I just can't stand staying at home no more nor be bored in general, still have 2 months of school also! Man :P. Its all good though, snap, crackle, pop, I think a Dragon's woke up.
Posted @ 10:24 PM | PermaLink | 1 comments |
